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It was early in our relationship. We were still friends at the time. This man, who I admired, just uttered words that I couldn’t casually ignore. “We’ll just go with the flow and see where that takes us.” I abruptly stopped him, never really hearing the words that would follow, as every fiber of my being disagreed with this concept. “I will not just go with the flow,” I interrupted. I will not leave our relationship up to chance. I will pray. We will pray. And we will make intentional decisions about where this relationship is going.
In the moment, as the words escaped me, flowing like an unstoppable river, from my usually cautious lips, I knew how much he meant to me, and had a hunch that he knew the same.
This statement – this unabashed declaration, became the framework from which our relationship blossomed. We intentionally tended to every aspect of our relationship, and now, our marriage, with prayer, guidance, and the awareness of our sincere commitment to God and one another. We were mindfully engaging in our relationship as we journeyed into the future together deciding very early on that there was no plan B. Nurturing and cultivating our bond was the only option.
Mindfulness in Marriage is the practice of being fully present and aware of where we are and what we are doing, individually and as a couple, encouraging you to continuously nurture yourself, your spouse and your marriage. Here are several Mindful Practices for a Healthy Marriage:
Be Present – Engage in daily conversations with your spouse, taking time to understand where each of you are, how you are doing and how you can support one another. Eliminate distractions, such as phones & computers and make decisions together about your present and future.
Be Aware – Pray about your marriage and seek wisdom from other happily married couples. Not everyone wants your marriage to succeed and if you are not aware, external forces have the opportunity to infiltrate what you’ve established. Mindfulness helps you recognize matters that are not aligned with your marital goals.
Be Thoughtful – Navigate your day with your spouse in mind. Leave them a voicemail. Send them a text message. Purchase some flowers. Write a note. Cook their favorite meal. There are endless opportunities to let your spouse know that you are consciously thinking about them. Each day offers an opportunity to demonstrate kind, thoughtful gestures toward your significant other.
Be Attentive – There are times when your presence is all your spouse will need. Whether they’ve had a long day, a bad meeting, or a tough drive home, providing a listening ear can be just the boost they need to get back on track. Maybe your spouse is the quiet type and doesn’t readily share those happenings. No problem. Your attentiveness to their behaviors still gives you the opportunity to do something thoughtful to brighten their day.
Be Calm – When you practice mindfulness in your marriage, you take time to process what is going on and what is being said before providing a response. It allows for proactive, composed communication between you and your spouse, instead of a hasty, reactive approach. Navigating your relationship through this calmness, promotes compassion and understanding in your marriage.
Be You – Taking care of yourself through healthful and nurturing practices will help you remain confident and well for your significant other. These practices will help you be at your best so you can give and receive love and get the most out of your relationship.
Whether you’ve been married 5 days or 50 years, practicing mindfulness in your marriage will help nourish you along your way. I’m so thankful for our 6 years, 2 children and innumerable learning experiences and look forward to continuing our wonderful journey together.
Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.